Lesson For 8/14/11 : Family Responsibilities

Responsibilities of the Parents

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  What responsibilities do husbands and wives share in raising their children?

Each person has an important place in his or her family. Through prophets the Lord has explained how fathers, mothers, and children should behave and feel toward one another. As husbands, wives, and children, we need to learn what the Lord expects us to do to fulfill our purpose as a family. If we all do our part, we will be united eternally.

For teachers: As with chapter 36, be sensitive to the feelings of those who do not have ideal situations at home. Emphasize that with guidance from the Lord and help from family members and the Church, single parents can successfully raise their children.

In the sacred responsibilities of parenthood, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). They should work together to provide for the spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and physical needs of the family.

Some responsibilities must be shared by the husband and the wife. Parents should teach their children the gospel. The Lord warned that if parents do not teach their children about faith, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost, the sin will be upon the heads of the parents. Parents should also teach their children to pray and to obey the Lord’s commandments. (See D&C 68:25, 28.)

One of the best ways parents can teach their children is by example. Husbands and wives should show love and respect for each other and for their children by both actions and words. It is important to remember that each member of the family is a child of God. Parents should treat their children with love and respect, being firm but kind to them.

Parents should understand that sometimes children will make wrong choices even after they have been taught the truth. When this happens, parents should not give up. They should continue to teach their children, to express love for them, to be good examples to them, and to fast and pray for them.

The Book of Mormon tells us how the prayers of a father helped a rebellious son return to the ways of the Lord. Alma the Younger had fallen away from the teachings of his righteous father, Alma, and had gone about seeking to destroy the Church. The father prayed with faith for his son. Alma the Younger was visited by an angel and repented of his evil way of living. He became a great leader of the Church. (See Mosiah 27:8–32.)

Parents can provide an atmosphere of reverence and respect in the home if they teach and guide their children with love. Parents should also provide happy experiences for their children.

• • 
  How can husbands and wives support each other in their roles? Where can single parents turn for support?

Responsibilities of the Father

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  What positive examples have you seen of fathers raising their children?

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). A worthy father who is a member of the Church has the opportunity to hold the priesthood, making him the priesthood leader of his family. He should guide his family with humility and kindness rather than with force or cruelty. The scriptures teach that those who hold the priesthood should lead others by persuasion, gentleness, love, and kindness (see D&C 121:41–44; Ephesians 6:4).

The father shares the blessings of the priesthood with the members of his family. When a man holds the Melchizedek Priesthood, he can share these blessings by administering to the sick and giving special priesthood blessings. Under the direction of a presiding priesthood leader, he can bless babies, baptize, confirm, and perform priesthood ordinations. He should set a good example for his family by keeping the commandments. He should also make sure the family prays together twice daily and holds family home evening.

The father should spend time with each child individually. He should teach his children correct principles, talk with them about their problems and concerns, and counsel them lovingly. Some good examples are found in the Book of Mormon (see 2 Nephi 1:14–3:25; Alma 36–42).

It is also the father’s duty to provide for the physical needs of his family, making sure they have the necessary food, housing, clothing, and education. Even if he is unable to provide all the support himself, he does not give up the responsibility of the care of his family.

Responsibilities of the Mother

• • 
  What positive examples have you seen of mothers raising their children?

President David O. McKay said that motherhood is the noblest calling (seeTeachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay [2003], 156). It is a sacred calling, a partnership with God in bringing His spirit children into the world. Bearing children is one of the greatest of all blessings. If there is no father in the home, the mother presides over the family.

President Boyd K. Packer praised women who were unable to have children of their own yet sought to care for others. He said: “When I speak of mothers, I speak not only of those women who have borne children, but also of those who have fostered children born to others, and of the many women who, without children of their own, have mothered the children of others” (Mothers [1977], 8).

Latter-day prophets have taught, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). A mother needs to spend time with her children and teach them the gospel. She should play and work with them so they can discover the world around them. She also needs to help her family know how to make the home a pleasant place to be. If she is warm and loving, she helps her children feel good about themselves.

The Book of Mormon describes a group of 2,000 young men who rose to greatness because of the teachings of their mothers (see Alma 53:16–23). Led by the prophet Helaman, they went into battle against their enemies. They had learned to be honest, brave, and trustworthy from their mothers. Their mothers also taught them that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them (see Alma 56:47). They all survived the battle. They expressed faith in the teachings of their mothers, saying, “We do not doubt our mothers knew it” (Alma 56:48). Every mother who has a testimony can have a profound effect on her children.

Responsibilities of the Children

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  How do children help their parents build a happy home?

Children share with their parents the responsibilities of building a happy home. They should obey the commandments and cooperate with other family members. The Lord is not pleased when children quarrel (seeMosiah 4:14).

The Lord has commanded children to honor their parents. He said, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land” (Exodus 20:12). To honor parents means to love and respect them. It also means to obey them. The scriptures tell children to “obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).

President Spencer W. Kimball said that children should learn to work and to share responsibilities in the home and yard. They should be given assignments to keep the house neat and clean. (See Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 120.)

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  What should children do to honor and respect their parents?
• • 
  What did your parents do that led you to honor and respect them?

Accepting Responsibilities Brings Blessings

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  What can each member of the family do to make home a happy place?

A loving and happy family does not happen by accident. Each person in the family must do his or her part. The Lord has given responsibilities to both parents and children. The scriptures teach that we must be thoughtful, cheerful, and considerate of others. When we speak, pray, sing, or work together, we can enjoy the blessings of harmony in our families. (See Colossians 3.)

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  What are some traditions and practices that can make home a happy place?

Additional Scriptures and Other Sources

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  Proverbs 22:6 (train up a child)
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  Ephesians 6:1–3 (children are to obey parents)
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  D&C 68:25–28; Ephesians 6:4 (responsibilities of parents)
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  “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” (available on LDS.org and in many Church publications, including Ensign, Nov. 1995, page 102;For the Strength of Youth [item number 36550], page 44; and True to the Faith [item number 36863], pages 59–61)
• • 
  Family Guidebook (item number 31180)

Elder Marion D. Hanks dies at age 89

Brethren,

The news I have here is sad news.... one of our great General Authorities, Elder Marion D. Hanks has passed away. (This happened Friday- But I got the news today. In light of getting this news, regardless of the hour, I knew the information needed to be shared.)

Before I list the story, here is some information to shed some brief light on the extent of Elder Hanks service just up until 1980:

He served for several years as a Presidential Appointee on the United States President’s Citizens Advisory Committee on Children and Youth, and on the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. In 1978 he was presented the Distinguished Service Award of the President’s Council “in recognition of outstanding contributions to the National Program of Physical Fitness and Sports.” 

He has been a speaker and consultant at youth conferences throughout the United States and in foreign countries and has participated in a number of White House Conferences on Children and Youth.

In Scouting, Elder Hanks serves as a member of the National Executive Board, as Chairman of the National Camping and Outdoors Committee, and as a member of the Business and Finance Committees of the Boy Scouts of America. He has been awarded the Silver Beaver, the Silver Antelope, the Order of the Arrow, and in 1973 was presented the first honorary award of the National Eagle Scout Association “in recognition of his distinguished service to scouting.”

Past president of Salt Lake City Rotary Club, he was District Governor of Rotary for 1977–78.
Among his civic services, Elder Hanks was the first chairman of the Utah Committee on Children and Youth, board member of Weber State College and Southern Utah State College, and member of the Snow College Institutional Council. He currently serves on the Board of Trustees of Brigham Young University and the Church Board of Education. He has served on numerous civic boards and committees, and holds the Minuteman Award from the Utah National Guard.

Elder Hanks holds a Juris Doctor degree from the University of Utah. He has been for many years a teacher and has been awarded honorary degrees or awards from Utah State University, Weber State College and Ricks College. He and his family spent several years in England and Europe in Church leadership there.

During World War II Elder Hanks served aboard a submarine chaser in the Pacific. He has since visited servicemen at their bases in many parts of the world. He is now serving as Military Relations Representative of the Church; and has served as Director of the Youth Program, worldwide.

Elder Hanks married Maxine Christensen in the Mormon Temple in Hawaii. They are the parents of four married daughters and one son.

Here is the story:

A submarine chaser in the Navy during World War II, Elder Marion D. Hanks risked his life to fly into hot combat zones during the Vietnam War to minister to LDS soldiers.

When a few of the first letters he wrote back to the families of soldiers didn't arrive until after the soldiers were killed in action, Elder Hanks took to staying up late into the night dictating the letters. Each morning, he put the tapes on a plane back to Utah, where his secretary would immediately type and send the letters.



"I can tell you by experience in my own family that a letter from a General Authority who has recently visited your 'loved one' in the field in Vietnam is a morale-builder," Army Col. Russell Meacham said in the book Saints at War about the letter sent by Elder Hanks to Meacham's family.

Elder Hanks, who served for nearly 40 years as a General Authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, died Friday in Salt Lake City, a week after suffering a stroke, surrounded by family members who recalled his remarkable capacity for ministering to the one.

"His intellect was just incredible, enormous, but his ability to touch the individual person in a personal way was his greatest legacy," his son Richard D. Hanks said Friday night. "The person before him always had his full devotion."

A mentor to apostles, a teacher and an athlete, Elder Hanks was the oldest living member of the Quorum of the Seventy nearly 60 years after joining what then was the First Council of the Seventy on Oct. 4, 1953, at the tender age of 31, one of the youngest men called to serve as a General Authority in the latter half of the 20th Century.

"The church lost a valued and respected leader, educator and friend with the passing of Elder Marion D. Hanks," the church's First Presidency said in a statement released late Friday afternoon. "He was an admired leader who served in numerous church callings, including the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy and as an Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. We extend our sincere condolences to his wife, Maxine, and their family."

In the early 1960s, Elder Hanks served as president of the British Mission. Among the missionaries he mentored were Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and Elder Quentin L. Cook, now both members of the church's Quorum of the Twelve.

"President Hanks had a profound influence on my life," Elder Holland once said, "as he did upon all the missionaries."

"Elder Hanks was the most incredible teacher and learner that I have ever known," said Richard G. Whitehead, who also served as a missionary under Elder Hanks.

"I don't know of anyone who has had an influence on me — or believes in youth — like this man," said Whitehead, now vice president of Institutional Advancement at Southern Virginia University. "He just had the capacity to instill in everyone the desire to do their  best."

Whitehead recalled that Elder Hanks encouraged the missionaries to memorize worthwhile writings that could help shape their lives. "Thankfully, I did," Whitehead said Friday, recalling this quote from Samuel Johnson:

 "The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove."

 Elder Hanks also served as an assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve from 1968 to 1976 and twice served in the presidency of the Seventy — from 1976 to 1980, and from 1984 until he was given emeritus status on Oct. 3, 1992.

 Elder Hanks had been the oldest living member of the First Quorum of Seventy and the second-oldest General Authority. Former church patriarch Eldred G. Smith, also an emeritus General Authority, is 104.
Born in Salt Lake City on Oct. 13, 1921, Elder Hanks was a son of Stanley Alonzo and Maude Frame Hanks. His father was a prominent municipal judge who died when Elder Hanks was 2. His widowed mother reared six of the seven children to maturity. Elder Hanks was the youngest.

 Elder Hanks returned from World War II to earn a law degree at the University of Utah. He and his wife, the former Maxine Christensen, are the parents of five children.

 An author and compelling speaker, he also wrote the lyrics to one of the church's hymns, "That Easter Morn," was honored with the Silver Buffalo Award by the Boy Scouts of America and served as president of the Salt Lake Temple from 1982-85.

 Asked in 1993 by Dennis Lythgoe of the Deseret News what he thought his epitaph could read, Elder Hanks was hesitant to answer but offered a few possibilities:

 "A teacher affects eternity. (It's definitely the most fun I've ever had.)"

 "We live on in the lives we have influenced for good."

 "Through Christ he early caught a glimpse of what man might be. His generous investment as a teacher produced rich dividends in the lives of others."

 "I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withholden from thee ... but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." — Job 42:1-6.

 "I would have ended my last general conference address with Job but didn't have the time. I think these verses mean that Job sees that what he did pales beside that of the Savior. If I had anything on my epitaph, I would be happy with these verses from Job."

 Funeral services are being planned for Aug. 13.

 After receiving emeritus status, Elder Hanks became chairman of the Ouelessebougou Mali-Utah alliance group, which has supported a program of community service for a consortium of villages in Mali, West Africa.
In addition, he chaired the International Enterprise Development Foundation, which assists people in the Philippines and Third World countries in establishing small-business and other economic improvement efforts.
 In April 1993, he received an honorary doctorate of Christian service as the main speaker at BYU's graduation.

 Elder Hanks had also continued as a public speaker in his later years. For example, in 2002, he gave a talk titled, "I Do Not Do My Work in the Spirit of Benefaction but of Atonement" (a quotation from Albert Schweitzer), at Utah Valley State College in Orem.

 He received BYU's David M. Kennedy Public Service Award in 1995. When he received that award, Ray Hillam, Kennedy Center associate and emeritus BYU faculty member. said, "The career of Marion D. Hanks has been a career of service. We cannot recognize all of his accomplishments. They are legion. However, the center wishes to honor Marion D. Hanks for his service in two specific areas: refugee work and rural and free enterprise development."

 LDS-oriented Southern Virginia University in Buena Vista has also honored Elder Hanks with its Leader-Servant Award.

 Elder Hanks was executive director of the Priesthood Department at the time he received emeritus status. He had also been executive director of the Correlation Department and chairman of the Communications Coding Committee.

 As a youth, he won the Utah State Marble Championship, attended West High School and was offered a basketball scholarship to the University of Utah, but declined to serve a church mission.
 His mission to the Northern States was cut short by World War II. He served in the Navy where he was group leader of 600 LDS servicemen.

 On another assignment, while on an extended tour through the South Pacific, he was the only LDS member aboard a submarine chaser. Appointed acting chaplain by the ship's captain, he conducted weekly services, attracting many of the crew. He achieved the rank of first class petty officer.

 He received a law degree from the University of Utah. in 1948. While at the university, he was active in Delta Phi, the returned missionaries' social fraternity. He later was an adviser to this group.

 He never practiced law, but worked for the church's seminary and institute system until becoming a general authority.

 As a general authority, he served for a number of years as military relations representative of the church.
His service in the Navy is credited with his introduction to his wife-to-be, Maxine Christensen, who was living in Hawaii with her parents at the time. Their four-year courtship led to marriage in the Hawaii Temple on Aug. 27, 1949. They were the parents of four daughters and a son.

 After returning from the service, Elder Hanks continued his schooling and entered the teaching profession, becoming a principal and teacher of the seminary at West High. He was also an instructor at the Institute of Religion at the University of Utah.

 He held these positions at the time of his call to the First Council of the Seventy. He remained as an institute teacher until 1970.

"I grew up participating in all kinds of sports, partly because of the example of my brother, who was an outstanding athlete, and partly because it was born in us, I guess," Elder Hanks said in a 1984 Church News interview. He was a member of the 19th Ward basketball team that won the all-Church championship in 1947.

 Elder Hanks also earned his Master M-Man award and during June conferences of the MIA performed a number of special services for the MIA general boards.

 For a number of years at the Mission Home, Elder Hanks taught classes in the Book of Mormon and conducted a "difficult" questions class.

 He was a popular fireside speaker at the time of his call as a general authority and was noted for his attention-holding style of speech and for his rapport with audiences, especially young people.

 Elder Hanks was active in numerous civic programs and was especially active in Scouting. He formerly served on Scouting's National Executive Board and International Committee and also was a member of the National Advisory Board. In 1988, he received the Silver Buffalo, the highest honor of the Boy Scouts of America, for nationwide service to youth.

 He also was chairman of the Deseret Gym board and in February 1995 spoke at the gym's 85th anniversary open house.

 Elder Hanks and his wife also founded the Hanks Foundation, a Salt Lake humanitarian group.
 **********

This news is monumental, and as sad as the loss is here for us, it’s only a temporary loss. We simply must recognize how the other side of the Veil now has another missionary ready to preach the gospel alongside other prophets and apostles who have also fulfilled their callings here on earth, to answer the call on the other side.

May our prayers be with the Hanks family, and may the Lord bless him forever!

"Love at Home—Counsel from Our Prophet" : Lesson For August 7th, 2011

By President Thomas S. Monson

Love at Home

Blessed Family Life

“When we have sampled much and have wandered far and have seen how fleeting and sometimes superficial a lot of the world is, our gratitude grows for the privilege of being part of something we can count on—home and family and the loyalty of loved ones. We come to know what it means to be bound together by duty, by respect, by belonging. We learn that nothing can fully take the place of the blessed relationship of family life.”¹

Sharing Our Love

“Give your child a compliment and a hug; say, ‘I love you’ more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of ‘what if’ and ‘if only.’ …

 

“Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and family. One day, each of us will run out of tomorrows. Let us not put off what is most important.”²

Showing Our Love

“Brethren, let’s treat our wives with dignity and with respect. They’re our eternal companions. Sisters, honor your husbands. They need to hear a good word. They need a friendly smile. They need a warm expression of true love. …

 

“To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon our Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day and as you deal with the challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them.”³

Expressing Our Love

“To you parents, express your love to your children. Pray for them that they may be able to withstand the evils of the world. Pray that they may grow in faith and testimony. Pray that they may pursue lives of goodness and of service to others.

 

“Children, let your parents know you love them. Let them know how much you appreciate all they have done and continue to do for you.”⁴

What Is Most Important

“What is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, ‘They do not love that do not show their love.’ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.”⁵

Bringing Heaven Closer

“May our families and homes be filled with love: love of each other, love of the gospel, love of our fellowman, and love of our Savior. As a result, heaven will be a little closer here on earth.

 

“May we make of our homes sanctuaries to which our family members will ever want to return.”⁶

A Prayer for Families

“Inasmuch as the family unit is under attack in the world today, and many things long held sacred are ridiculed, we ask Thee, our Father, to make us equal to the challenges we face, that we may stand strong for truth and righteousness. May our homes be havens of peace, of love and of spirituality.”⁷

Teaching from This Message

In one type of learning activity, “the teacher presents a question or situation and gives learners a short amount of time to freely suggest solutions or ideas” (Teaching, No Greater Call [1999], 160). As you read this article with the family, ask them to listen for counsel or ideas that impress them. Family members could then suggest ways to increase love in their home. Consider inviting the family to review these ideas in an upcoming family home evening.

Youth

Mother Rescued Us

By Patricia Auxier

When I was six, my little sister and I were watching our older sister’s basketball game. My dad left, and then we decided that we wanted to go home with him, so we ran after him in the rain. When we couldn’t find him, we went back to the gym to go home with our mom, but by the time we entered the gym, everyone in the building was gone.

I remember huddling in a doorframe, trying to get my little sister and me out of the rain, praying that someone would come. Then I remember hearing the door to our red van slam shut, and we went running toward the sound. Then came one of the most vivid childhood memories I have: our mother enfolding us in her arms “as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings” (3 Nephi 10:4). My mother had rescued us, and I never felt more secure than I did at that moment.

As I think of her influence on me, I see that my mother’s life has pointed me toward the Savior and has shown me what it means to “lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5). She relied on Jesus Christ, who gave her strength “beyond [her] own” (“Lord, I Would Follow Thee,” Hymns, no. 220).

I never felt more secure than I did at the moment my mother enfolded us in her arms.

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The Shumway Sequence

1.ALWAYS STRIVING TO INCREASE TIME SPENT AROUND THE SPIRIT

“…Humble yourselves before the Lord…call upon His holy name…watch and pray continually… and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all longsuffering.” (Alma 13:28)

2.ALL THINGS ACCOMPLISHED ACCORDING TO THE LORD’S TIMING

“Let not your minds turn back; and when ye are worthy, in mine own due time, ye shall see and know that which was conferred upon you.” (Doctrine & Covenants Section 67:14)

3.THERE IS SPECIAL SIGNIFICANCE IN THE SERVICE YOU ARE GIVING

“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17)

4.INCREASE OUR DESIRE TO HAVE A DEEPER LEVEL OF TRUST AND FAITH

“…exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.” (Alma 32:27 –Faith)

“I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good- yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously ; and this is my Spirit.” (Doctrine & Covenants Section 11:12 – Trust)

5.IF YOU ARE HERE NOW, YOU ARE FOREORDAINED TO BE HERE.

“And this is the manner after which [we] were ordained – being called and prepared from the foundation of the world according to the foreknowledge of God, on account of their exceeding faith and good works; …therefore they having chosen good, and exercising exceedingly great faith, are called with a holy calling…which was prepared with, and according to, a preparatory redemption for such.” (Alma 13:3)